DO YOU SUFFER FROM BAD SHAKESPEARE SYNDROME (B.S.S.)?

TAKE THIS POP QUIZ TO FIND OUT:

1) Do you hate Shakespeare?
2. Think he’s boring, long, hard to understand and way too “old school”?
3) Or, are you asking yourself, “Shakespeare who”?
4) Were you scarred by a Hamlet pop-quiz in high school?
5) Had one too many date nights ruined by interminable productions of plays whose names/plots/characters you can’t even remember?
6) Antipholus-Autolycus? Gremio-Grumio? Cassio-Cassius? Are these REALLY names?
7) Too many thees, thous, foresooths and fardles for your comfort level?
8) Exhausted from trying to follow who is the twin of who and why are they in disguise and what the &%* is going on here, anyway?!!!!
9) Do all of the words coming out of Shakespearean actors’ mouths sound like “Blah blah blah”?

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IF YOU ANSWERED “YES” TO ANY OF THESE QUESTIONS, THEN YOU MAY BE SUFFERING FROM
“BAD SHAKESPEARE SYNDROME”.



​THE FACTS:
**1 in every 12.5 Americans has been a victim of Bad Shakespeare at least once before age 21.
**World-wide, a Bad Shakespeare performance occurs every 17.6754 seconds. (Yes, that’s right. In the time it took to read this site, some poor slob in Hob Nob, U.K. was traumatized by a community theatre production of “Merchant of Venice”.)
**Bad Shakespeare Syndrome (BSS) accounts for almost .00002% of Emergency Room visits per annum, with the most common injuries (in descending order):
1. Concussions (from sleeping heads banging into the seat in front of them)
2. Contusions (mostly shins banging into seats as patrons sneak out during the “loud bits”)
3. “Bardementia” (the inability to remember anything occurring in the play for longer than 10 seconds)
 

​SYMPTOMS:
Common Symptoms of Bad Shakespeare Syndrome (BSS) include:
1. Declining sex life (from spouses angered by your tittering every time Dogberry says “ass”),
2. Loss of appetite (A “Titus Andronicus” production that got a discount on fake blood)
3. An increase in sleep (the same production of “Titus”)
4. And, most serious of all-- loss of the will to live (mostly caused by exposure to repeated viewings of “A Midsummer Night’s Dream”)
 

YOU ARE NOT ALONE.
WE’RE HERE TO HELP.
WE’RE THE NEW YORK TIMES AND BOSTON GLOBE FEATURED
“THEATRE UNDER THE STARS”
…AND WE ARE LEADING THE “BAN BAD BARD” REVOLUTION!!!

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JOIN THE REVOLUTION!
“JUST SAY NO” to productions that:
 

**Focus on technology—anything featuring fog machines, hydraulic sets, state of the art sound amplification, rear-screen projections, rock and roll scores or flying harnesses.
**Place Shakespearean characters in outer space, “the future”, a 1970’s disco or a trailer park.

**Use funny accents, sock puppets, robots or zombies
**Have the actors speak slowly so that everyone “gets it”
**Have a hand or body gesture that accompanies every word
**Feature “the former star of” any game, reality or talk tv show (or any show pre-dating 2000)

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​OUR MANIFESTO:
“Bare Bones Bard”: Minimal Lights, Sets, Props--Nothing directing your eye to a specific place.

“Shakespeare Unplugged”: No sound amplification. No music telling you how you should be feeling. Nothing to distract you from the power, force, vibrancy and innate musicality of the words we speak.

“Down and Dirty Guerilla Style”: We perform any place, at any time, under any weather condition. We are “Shakespeare Shaolins”—and we are hard core!

“No Holds Bard”: Anything goes—The audience is emotionally a part of the show, encouraged to tell us how they feel and to respond to questions. The audience is also physically a part of the show--Sometimes we perform in, around, behind and in front of the audience.

“Kicking it old school”: We perform under Renaissance conditions: Rustic stage, minimal to no rehearsals, (mostly) natural light, gorgeous costumes and actors who really understand and connect with the words, each other and the audience. If we connect then you connect. It’s as simple as that.



Theatre Under The Stars…
We are the cure for Bad Shakespeare Syndrome